Nice, Bad Guy

      There he was with his cocky smile just looking at me. He is such a rapist dick. I can’t believe how easy and pleasant he was to be around before. But now, he’s just... dead to me. After that trick he pulled on me two nights ago. I can’t even believe that I trusted him. I feel like a loser, ugly, stupid, and dead. All because I let this asshole into my life. I told him, “no.” But he didn’t listen to me. He kept on going. But I still told him, “no.” And still that didn’t go through his little head of his. I tried to push him off, but he was too strong. I tried to escaped , but he grabbed me. So all I could’ve done was just laid there helplessly. I prayed to God to please, please make this stop. To let it be a nightmare instead. But God didn’t answer my prays. And so I found myself alone, just waiting till my life moves on or maybe, just maybe it’ll end right now. The fact is that life is precious, but my life feels like crap. I just, I just want to be free, you know? Just want to be free like a bird. To just spread my wings and fly away. But no. I can’t. I can’t be like that. I want to tell, but I’m afraid to just be out in the open. Yesterday, I was planning to go to heaven. But I couldn’t do it. I was afraid to disappoint my parents, my family, and my friends. I figure I couldn’t live with the guilt even if I were dead. I just wish that... that even if I did get rape I would be able to tell my story. And my story is now.