Just a Little Crush

I must stare. I know it's crazy, but I must. He is just so cute and adorable. I know I am crazy because I am liking him from afar. He probably doesn't even remember me.

We were at the college orientation meeting when I first laid eyes on him. They were putting us into groups. He was in my group and I just so happen to sit by him.

Now it's weeks later and I am still thinking about him. I can't believe I let it get this far. I must. I must. I must go up to him and speak to him. But. But what if he does talk to me what will we talk about. What if I tell him that I think he's cute. Yeah, guys likes to be complimented so he is probably use to it. So yeah, at least we'll have a conversation.

Now it is time.

Parents Just Don't Understand

I am cutting myself out of pictures and throwing them away. I try to cut the memories and throw them out of my life. I see myself as trash. Trash as in something or someone that doesn't belong here. All my life for almost 18 years, I've been told that I'm a retard, stupid, irresponsible, and too immature. And as I look up, I tell God th go fuck himself. To go help someone that is worth more than me. Tell him that why should I pray to him if doesn't even help me out for a tiny bit. But no. I find myself as getting more irritated every freaking day. And I know that one day I might explode. And I'm scare that I might hurt someone or myself. I just can't stand it any longer. My parents just don't understand of who I am or who I'm going to be. Even I don't know who I am. I just don't understand them. And if I become a parent, I know that I will be better than them. I will treat them better and pay more attention to them.